Love Games

Our song was on repeat that night thinking our chemistry was amazing, how I was able to count on him till he disappeared out of my memory. This time was our last goodbye since I acknowledged the fact that I wasn't his he was someone elses. I missed it all, the signs that told me we had expired. It felt like I couldn't forget him because of the times that he made me smile, put tears on my face, the shook in my heart. Why do we allow ourselves to fall that hard? The first date we met was something like a yes, a yes to all of what I was looking for knowing that it went against everything I write about when it came to relationships. It was today I realized I couldn't wait for him till the time was right but the more I think about it the more I know I missed him. My mind started drifting believing that maybe he didn't care since my train of thought was "If something is good shouldn't it last"? I knew he cared but I needed to let go by all means necessary, trying to make him see that I couldn't be the guy he needed, a backup just in case his current relationship didn't work. How is it that he was everything I wanted in a guy yet everything I couldn't have? I could see his eyes in my phone when he called as his picture came on my screen, the picture the looked at me saying wait patiently. I hesitated to pick up hoping that I was able to push ignore but instead I let the phone ring, understanding that it was my fault for following behind the thought of soul mates. I always thought he would learn to love me without being told but I didn't want to tell him what to do. The many times he apologized about how we couldn't make things official I wasn't afraid to keep this as long as I did but at the end of this phase it killed me knowing that I always seem to find the misery of being lonely. I gotta move on now......

To Be Continued...