Back Words

I almost had it, almost had it back because now it's hard to find someone, then deja vu kicked in when he said "I'm not ready to be in one, standing at the fork shaped road again "I don't want to hurt you in the end", the pattern of being told the same thing was what I call a "Boyfriend in Disguise". After so many repeats I learned to walk away whistling and not looking back. A fragile individual I was becoming for love, he had a disguised it for a month, that made me believe this perfect fairy tale and all I am, just a friend. The image of saying goodbye was a slide show that was on repeat, dictating my next relationships. In a world of possibilities with each single person why is it that we're still looking for the next best thing? The burden of what he meant to me made me somehow feel safe and as how unhealthy that sounds it was a safety net. The insanity of not being noticed other than just a guy that came and gone was the back words, yes I wanna go back undo the tragic and the hurt.

To Be Continued....