Twitter.com

After being back in NYC for over a year there were still things that I haven't learned and still trying to figure out when it came to being part of being in the single category. This new slick website twitter.com crept into my phone not knowing I would be addicted once I registered. This time it wasn't a gay chat site that I logged into but a regular website or so I thought that led me to many different guys or people that would be looking for something more than friends, maybe just twittering. If dating is as simple meeting a guy online why is it hard to keep it after? When we first spoke he was just a screen name Sc6709, after that he became Mr Curri. What did I say or do to make it that far cause I kept taking a step forward trying to not put up that fortress again and now I'm looking back, was there something about him that it made it harder now to let go because I keep having the same thoughts I had yesterday. It became instant to hold a conversation with him everyday after and as instantly we talked it would be an instant wreck. If choosing to take the plunge knowing that you would fall flat on your face why the plunge? What the hell made us decide to move forward anyway? The hoping and wishing and the fading was starting to settle in and maybe as much as I knew how wrong this was I couldn't stop I needed to know how things were turning out. The problem was that with each day that we spoke I knew that he had someone, a boyfriend that he went home to so was I the 2ND thought. I wanted to wash my hands from all that and with the guessing and not know I was stuck. It was the stuck that made you feel the L-O-V-E, me walking away whistling to every other knock off Mr. Briggs became hard to do. All over again I dug a hole around myself and the very second I stop it's gonna hurt me so does leaving him another version of quitting, and if it isn't why does it feel like a burden when carrying that bag of troubles also known as quitting?


To be continued.........