Hello Hearbreak

Living in the most confident city, you tend to always keep yourself up to par, and of course the game we all play called dating. I look at living in NYC to be a experience that will give me the sense of living life to the fullest and yet so far all I can share is my stories of past dates, past relationships, and anything else that would make me a interesting writer. I consider myself a relationship anthropologist with the potential to be a writer for the gay community to shed light on how I live life as a gay guy in a big city. I remember being at a restaurant called BB Q's, where I received flowers and catch myself running back to Mr. Briggs, no matter what happened the night or week before. I let myself down in so many ways when it comes to love. Hello heartbreak I say,like it's an addiction for me. I can't seem to figure what I have in my life with Briggs and maybe it's meant not to be figured out just yet. I asked him why the flowers? He gave me a reply that he was trying to save what he had, that response just confused me because I didn't even know what we had. I always thought that he would be different, not different like weird but different because out of all the guys that I met since I've been in NYC he called back for the second date. As we sat at BB Q's the hardest habit to get rid of within me just kept nagging over and over. I over think everything and it was the flowers that kept running across my mind, why? Where as I should have just accepted them with the hopes that he was trying to mend things. So there you go one flaw and many more to discover. I was in need of alcohol, lots. We started drinking and I was just sitting there with my big glasses looking like no one other than one of the Olsen twins, a skinny chick with big glasses and a big purse. I have a nickname for you he said "Little Miss Sunshine". I started laughing because out of all the names, Mr. Briggs came up with that one to call me and yes it did fit at the time. We exchanged glances and I held his hand, but why did it feel like it was a secret, just as he introduces me as just a friend who he has relations with and intimate moments with, and I can't forget the fun times of course where we laughed at certain things and we have this thing where we grrr with our fists being balled up at little things that bother us. I miss that now. We was ready to leave and go to some lounge for more drinks and for his meeting with someone named B. Scott. I wasn't expecting to go but he invited me. I was shocked, shocked because for the past week we actually acted like a couple, a happy one. Is happy a disease that we try so hard to get to? .........